Instead of the typical Motivation Monday, I wanted to do something a little different today. I wanted this post to be tied to today's 12 Days of Christmas. Today's (DAY 3) is INFLUENCE: Light of Christ, Divine energy, power or influence that proceeds from God through Christ and gives life and light to all things.
Sometimes it is through others that we can see God's hands working miracles in our lives. One time in particular was when my eyes were truly open to that. Holidays for most are exciting, fun, joyful, etc. But for some they can be times of mourning, loss, devastation, sadness, etc. One holiday season in particular for our family ended up that way. On Christmas Eve 2011 my mom's boyfriend/fiance passed away. Just like that. Try to bear with me as I write as my emotions and mind are all over the place and as I try to organize my thoughts. I woke up the next day, throwing my covers off me practically against the wall. I was grinning from ear to ear. It was Christmas! Little did I know however, in just a couple minutes our lives would take a totally different turn. I ran down the stairs and towards our Christmas tree by the front door. My older brother and mom came following after. We began to take turns ripping apart wrapping paper, ripping off tape, untying bows, etc. My mom had pulled out her phone to take pictures when she noticed that she had a text message. She opened the text. Her eyes were wide. She didn't blink once. The text was from her boyfriend's twin brother. He had told her very bluntly (there was no other way) that Tyler -name changed- had died. She showed us the text. My first reaction was disbelief honestly. I thought he was lying. "Yeah right. He's just joking. You talked to him last night!" I protested to my mom. She sat motionless. "I don't believe that. Let's just finish unwrapping and then you can call Travis -name changed- later." My brother suggested. "You know what, you're right. He's just trying to scare me." My mom was used to things like this coming from Tyler's twin brother Travis. So we went about unwrapping our presents one by one. Until we all began to feel very uneasy moments later. We knew something was definitely not right. Travis wouldn't go that far. Time seemed to slow down at this point. We no longer cared or noticed it was Christmas day. Just minutes later as my mom was conversing back and forth with Travis we received the real and haunting news that Tyler had passed away. To leave out sensitive details, he had taken his own life. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to feel. I felt lost. I felt angry. I had hundreds of questions running through my head. I was only 12 years old at the time so I don't think I fully grasped what had happened even though I knew my emotions were real, I just didn't know what to do with them. Tyler had battled depression for years. It seemed as though he was in a dark hole and couldn't figure out how to break free. Even though we were very aware of this, we never expected it to reach this far. Memories after that text are very faint to me. I can't remember much, but what I do remember is God's hand in my life that day... later that night, we got a knock at our door. We hesitated to answer, considering the circumstance. But instead, my mom had a strong feeling to open it. So she did. It was our visiting teacher, husband and their older son. "Kelly! Merry Christmas! We brought you some-" She stopped mid-sentence noticing the tears in my mom's eyes and solemn feeling in the house. Me and my brother were in the back room listening in. "What's wrong? Are you okay?" Our kind visiting teacher had asked. My mom broke down. She explained the tragic news. Our visiting teacher came inside while she asked her husband and son to wait in the car. She held and sobbed with my mom for what seemed like hours. Then my mom mentioned a priesthood blessing. Tammy -name changed- immediately said yes! "I am going to line one up right now. Hold tight for just a second, okay?" In less than 10 minutes she had another priesthood holder over to help her husband give a blessing to my mom. I don't remember what was said. I wish I did. But I do remember feeling that everything was going to be okay. Despite the current circumstance, I felt peace. I felt love. In my little and inexperienced 12 year old mind, I knew that Heavenly Father knew our needs. He knew and understood our pain. His son had felt what my mom was feeling that day. After the blessing, our visiting teacher, her husband and son left. She came back a half hour later with a mug of cake pops, 2 tubs of homemade chicken noodle soup, stuffing, ham, corn, yams, etc. I can tell you that God works in mysterious ways. He knew our sorrow, he knew our grief, and he sent someone to be his hands to let us know that he cared. Our visiting teacher had dropped everything that Christmas day in 2011 to help someone in desperate need. We were so grateful. We were so blessed. God works in wonderful and mysterious ways. He knows your pain. He hears your cries in the night when no one else does but yourself. During this Christmas season, try to look beyond yourself and find someone who is in need. Lend a hand. You may never know how much good you can do until you do it. Have a wonderful week. Love you all. Ness
1 Comment
Mom
12/14/2015 11:54:15 pm
Thank you sis, for this blog so beautifully put! It was such a hard Christmas and when we were talking about this particular Christmas blessing, brought on by someone truly inspired to cheer me/us up on such an important day of whom we commemorate...it helped to remind me that through all the stressful and sad times...He truly is aware of us and our pain and sorrow, to bless us with angels to lift us and carry us!! I will ever be so grateful for that Visiting teacher who was so in tune with the spirit...that at the time we didn't think anything of it, but thank you for sharing, because it is He whom we celebrate this time of year, that is ever unfailingly sending others to be there to bless us with His light of love! I love you so very much, and I thank you again for this amazing posts that has so much meaning to it!
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Ponderize Of The Week:
"If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed." - James 1:5-6 Quote Of The Week:
"Give it to God and go to sleep." - Unknown |